Beauty and Madness

The clock ticks life away. Every second, every minute, every hour is the future. Time grabs hold of you. It either drags you behind, stuck in the past or pushes you to worry about what's going to happen in the future. It makes your palm itch as you wait for the it to come. There are times when you want to hold it, to stop it or to slow it down. Time is all around you, it's invisible power working through every single living thing on this universe. It is uncontrolabe. Inevitable. If time would just listen to me, take me back to the days where I need to change things that I have done. If only time could fastforward itself, to heal me from the pain I'm going through. If only time would stop at some certain points of my life, and just stay that way for eternity. Why can't time feel pity on me? Why can't time heal me? Why can't time make me forget? Why can't time slow down for me? Why can't time go back for me? Why can't time stop for me? You know what......

I sit here, trapped inside the four walls of my bedroom. Having nothing to do but write on my blog about the painful feeling that crawls through my veins. It makes my heart go heavy and my sight go blurry. It makes my tear ducts produce so much tears that it can flood a country. I stop and feel so stupid for I have no reason why I feel this way. So, unconsciously, I cry more. I turn left, I trun right, if I could I would trun upside down just to feel better. There was no way of me finding some sort of pain reliever or something that can make me say to myself that I'm okei. I pray to God for help, and still I am waiting, for I know that he has a plan for me. But still I sit here, going over and over again, about why this is happening. Reminiscing, crying, planning, trying... Look at me, I am like a vampire, up at night sleeps at day. I have a hoarse voice and is simply over fatigued. I cry over nothing. You know what... I guess it's just me... looking for love..