Beauty and Madness

Tell me. What should I do if I hear people saying things about me that are untrue. Partly true but the thing is, they haven't really heard my side of story yet. Tell me how would I react or how would I treat people who jump into conclusions, telling other people lies without even consulting me to find out if what goes on in their narrow brains are actually true. Okei. Fine. People make mistakes, but people continually making mistakes? That doesn't seem reasonable. Romans 1:32 "who the righteous judgment of God having known -- that those practising such things are worthy of death -- not only do them, but also have delight with those practising them. " I mean, they judge from what they see. Which everyone will see as prejudice. [prejudice occurs without a person knowing or examining the facts] PROVERBS 11:12 A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. It's okei for me if they say things about me..IF....and ONLY IF...th...

Sometimes, out of the blue I find myslef in this situation where I know nothing that goes on in my brain and my feelings that it is possible. I am one hundred percent concious that it is inappropriate, juvenile and just certainly impossible. Every detail about it seems to lack evidence that it can be real or even possible to exist. But sometimes I find myself looking at you and just wonder what goes on in your mind. I think to myself. "Is there anyone else in this world that's like him.." I love you. That's true, but not in the way a girl would love a boy cause I know I am not capable of giving you the love you need and you giving that back to me. I dont see myself being with you, but you seem to be a guy that a girl like me would love to love..But I'm happy to have you with me as who you are to me right now. I thank God for you, for you are one of the blessings he has provided me in my life here on earth. But there are these moments I think to myself.. :if only I...

Im only doing this cause you ASKED me to.. even if it's against my will... Its to show you that I love you... but you can never force me to stop feeling the way I do... I'm missing you so much.

Here I stand and my pride is washed away by the rain I cry for you to stay Heaven roars it mimicks my heart's throbs then it floods the storm has filled my world listen to me my love Ch. The rain falls the wind blows it hides all my tears the thunder the lightning they are nothing from what I fear the storm has come over me its not about to go away I stand in this rain until I can make you stay Now the gray has swallowed up the sku it is dark the heavens begin to cry..

And when I was at the edge of making one of these wishes come true..I blew it-I would've jumped of a cliff if I could just to dodge the situation. I could've had that look... maybe that nod... hopefully that smile... but I lost it. DAMN.

I dont know why... but I still find myself missing you. My eyes still search for a glimpse of you. My ear still waits to hear your sweet voice I dont know why... But even though I was never with you I still long for your presence. I still wonder what you're doing. I dont know why... But even if I have completely lost you and I'm more that out of place... I still find myself falling deeper in love with you.

It's not like I've been with you that I'm feeling like this but there's something about you that I really miss could it be your voice, your stories, jokes or sighs could it be the long conversations that last throughout the night could it be your eyes, your smile or your hair, it must be your laugh that I find so rare it could be the listening ear I found in you whenever I needed a friend or simply the feeling that I'm secured everytime I'm afraid Im sure I miss the thought that you'd always be here and the thought that to lose you was nothing I'm supposed to fear I miss all the dreams we hoped would come true but what I miss the most is everything that's YOU... I miss you.

I love you more than you'll ever know....