Beauty and Madness

Dejavus, coinsidence, accidents; they do not exist. People have told me that things happen for a reason. People also told me that I drive my own life. I decide for myself. I control my feelings and I'm responsible for my actions. But then what do I do when the time comes that I can't control myself because my heart has taken over and decided to say whatever it wants to say? What am I supposed to do when I become so fragile, that no one, nothing could stop me. Words flow out so easily and its just too impossible to swallow the words again or pretend that nothing was said. Warnings have been thrown in my face,tattooed in my head and carved in my palms. But I'm just too stubborn to see it and take notice of it. It's like having a pedestrian crossing and a traffic light but ignoring it. I crossed when I felt like it and eventually gets hit by the worse thing that could ever hit you. A truck? A bus? A train? A guy... Sixteen years of existing in this world. Sixteen years of ...

There were moments, I just sat there. I see you, you see me, you smiled, I smiled. And never did I make a big deal out of it. There were moments when it seemed like there was just you and me in this world, like we shared this connection...but I just ignored it. You know why? I asked myself "why?" And now I'm asnwering the question I asked myself. "because it's wrong" At sixteen, I may not be matured as how I should be, or I might not have experienced much to know how things work..BUT I know what is wrong from right. And I do have common sense. But what I don't undersatnd is even I know this is wrong, why can't I stop myself from having that feeling. Is it beyond my control? We're here, so close, yet so far away. Out of reach, that's you. But still my heart stubbornly continues to ignore the obvious and pretends its okei. Sometimes I find it funny, stupid. But to think about it, its not funny at all. I am causing myself my own pain, my own gr...

Eto ang mga mahal ko sa buhay. Since birth..haha este June 24 2006 these people came into my life. Sa saya, at lungkot, kalokohan at seryosohan, gutuman at lamunan kasama ko sila. Meron mang conflict sa tabi tabi..we never let it break our strong bond. We have helped each other grow closer to Christ and develop our spiritual relationship with God. We have learned the five purpose of our lives together and we are living it today. Kaaway ng isa, kaaway ng lahat. Ate, Kuya, Bunso, Ampon..lahat mahal ko. ;) Parang family ko na sila. OKei fine family ko nadin sila. My week, or even my day wont be complete if I dont get to see these guys. They've picked me up when I was down. As in down. I know that they'll always be here for me and I know that they know that I will always be here for them. I thank God for them. They are the circumstances God gave me to learn and to become more like Jesus. I love them all! they are my... Gala buddies Kantahan buddies Sayawan buddies Walking buddies ...

Imagine standing in an empty room. An empty space. Your breath echoes. Your heartbeat becomes a faint bass rythmn. The doors are shut and no one can hear your screams. You're left in isolation. You look around, knowing that this empty space was once filled...with things. People maybe? furniture? The four walls that surrounds you seem to grow much closer. Its suffocating. You tried to tear the walls apart and find a way to get out. You broke this space. Now close your eyes... This empty space was not filled with people once. with furniture? no. It was filled with memories and love. I locked you in there, never wanting to set you free. I gave you everything you ever needed. That whole space was yours and no one could share it with you. But I guess too much space was too much for you. It suffocated you. So you broke it. You left it. And now, it truly is empty. You were the only one who filled the empty space in my heart, but now you're gone. And now... I'm left with an empty s...

You see me standing infront of you, but I'm translucent in your eyes I give you my infinite embrace, though I never get them back You feel me, yes, but your heart is numb; you shield it from within You guard it like a pot of gold; the treasure I want to win The road ahead begins to steep, I'm scared and weak to fall again, My heart and mind had started a battle, there is rage inside my head Slowly i drifted, now watching you from afar Our bodies are close but our hearts are universe apart I see your burden through your eyes, your sorrow through your tears still, I'm invisible to you. Why am I the only one that sees.. My heart is filled with questions that my mind is unable to answer There are chains that pull me back, but my heart is so much stronger I'm catching the wind and I'm chasing shadows if I was to say we'd ever be If only you'd take a moment to see, to listen to me... Now my heart screams all it has to say, "stop." "Please help me!...