Life never cease to surprise me.

I've complained time and time again of the dramas that occur in my life.
But who else is there to blame but me.
Can I blame them? Can I say that they're making it hard for me? But then again I tolerate it. "One moment you'll be happy, one moment you'll be blue." effects of ecstasy, marijuana? or just the cliche of life.
Circumstances like this never cease to surprise me, I know I should be on guard knowing that we live an imperfect life here on Earth, but who am I? What can I do to stop it?
I dont know really. Whats making me type this blog is the fact that at this very moment, no one...NO ONE in this life I live is able to listen to me or understand my situation. And the only people I can turn to that I know can help me are busy about their own lives. Or arent willing to listen to me right now for a reason they cant explain. I dont know what else to do or how to get rid of the feelings Ive got inside. These feelings that makes it hard for me to breathe, to think, to smile. Im not doing this on purpose. I never want to feel this way, but what can I do? This is life we're talking about.
My God will never cease to surprise me with obstacles like this to shape me and teach me more of what I should know. Its hard, it really is, and sometimes I can do nothing but break down and cry. But then again I will always put it my mind, to get me through my everyday...

Philippians 4:13
"I can do anything with Christ who strengthens me"

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