damn confused...

STOP.
SLOW DOWN.
AVOID IT.
LET IT GO?
FORGET IT!
LEAVE IT!

Yeah, I kept telling my self that. But I just don't have enough motivation, courage? strength? to do it. I had it going...for what? 24 hours?! Then next minute I find myself in this awkward conversation with you. A conversation I onced imagined, but it didn't go as well as what I thought it would.
I was pissed off.
But then I was happy.
I couldn't understand what it was.
In my mind I silently ask you to stop what you're doing. (and ofcourse you don't hear it so you don't stop)
I sigh in relief when you don't care about me...thinking that it'll help me to:
STOP.
SLOW DOWN.
AVOID IT.
LET IT GO?
FORGET IT!
LEAVE IT!

but no...You just have to come back and work your way through, capturing my heart again. You always seem to find a way to make me smile. You always seem to appear in the right place at the right time when I need you. Which is bad? It's not that I don't like you...or want you even...
but the thing is...I'm scared to like you..or..want you. It's just something that I try to not get myself into.

What do I do? (kakanta na yan ng "What do I do" ohh..haha joke)

help me...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Slipped Away

Every after school I sit on the bus. Then I see this little chinese girl stop at her bus stop. Her grandfather is there waiting for her. It made me think about mine. Tears started to build up. Knowing that I could never see mine again. I was 13 when he passed away. I was thousands of miles away from him. They told us his time was near. That he was really sick. I did not understand, or maybe I just didn't want to understand. I never showed my tears though. I remembered how he used to take care of all of us. How he would treat us "taho" and "dirty ice cream" on holidays and weekends. How we all go to church with him. Then it struck me, that there was no time left. I wanted to go back home, but can't. Only my dad did, but he still didn't make it on time. He was gone. I just couldn't believe it. We were in grief. Then there was a poem read at his funeral, saying that we shouldn't grieve and leave it all to God's hands. That now he is free. And I ...
Read more

bad memories...galing mag sulat!! haha

To keep it as a secret is not right...to tell another person isn't right either...and to tell you will be the biggest mistake i'll ever make in my life... or is it? So it was around 4 or 5 o'clock in the morning. My eyes were barely open as I listen to my friend talk to me about her shoes. .then it came to me..maybe it was time to tell you. It wouldnt matter what you would think or what you would have to say anymore. I just thought that maybe I should get this over an done with. It wouldn't make a difference. Right? Even if you know, or you dont, you still dont care...So there..it took me around...an hour to decide what i would say...or what I wouldn't.. I finally decided and showed my friend...of all the foolishness I have done in my life...I shouldn't have given it to her. So there...it was done..I couldn't undo it. There was no rewinding...or re-doing...or wishing to turn back time... But...still..u dont care...and that's fine with me...I just wish th...
Read more

Things I don't understand.

How Pythagora came up with his theory about right angled triangles... How they counted the number of blood cells in our body... Who came up with all the words.. Who made up the languages... Where does gravity come from... How we think... How we react with things... Who decided how time would be read... How they decided how they would read time... Why some people would spend their whole life looking at the sky, studying the stars... Why they decided to stop bartering and print out some papers and call it "money"... Why people are not contented with what they have... Why it's so hard to tell the truth but so easy to lie... Why we find it easier to get angry than to show care and compassion to a person... Why we have so much time being bored when we have no time to talk and listen to God... Why people can't help it to stereotype another person.. Why we find it hard to forgive when we beg so much to be forgiven... Why we can't all get along... Why does the word "...
Read more