Drenched in Pain

This pain...it ran through my veins. I was immuned to it. It was a dagger pierced through my heart but the pain itself was its anaesthesia. So I walked along with a smile on my face, tortured by the numbness caused by this heartache. It's a pain that you can't feel though you know it hurts. My heart cries unconciously. My mind blanks out unexpectedly. This pain...it has infected me.
And yet, there is no one else to blame, but me. Not him, not her...me. I'm responsible for my own actions, for my own thoughts, for my own feelings. I was the one who said it was alright to fall in love with him.I was the one who was unfortunately "brave" enough to let him know. I was the one who was foolish enough to continue loving him inspite of all the horrid things I've heard about him. I was the stubborn one who wouldn't let go even though there was no chance at all between the two of us. It was like heaven and earth as what someone said to me once. It was like "catching the wind and chasing shadows"...he was a dream. An illusion. A wish. An inspiration. A motivation. An important part of my life. A stupid mistake.

And now...I'm drenched in pain.

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